Farewell, Kyle
by Nathan-Daystorm
Summary: [Suikodeon V] The war has drawn to a close, but not all questions have been answered. Kyle seeks to clarify one question while leaving behind another mystery. Oneshot. KyleSialeeds.


I miss her.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Those probably aren't words anyone ever expected me to say. Or write, or whatever. I'll be honest, I never really expected to think them. When I was a kid, I'm not too modest to say, I was the prettiest guy in Lelcar, and the girls naturally took notice. It might surprise you, but at first I never really noticed it. When I did, though, I snapped up that opportunity as quick as I could, and by the time I was halfway through my teenage years I'd been through more girlfriends than I have fingers.

Now, before Lyon or Miakis or any of the other fine ladies in our little ragtag bunch start reevaluating their opinions of me, let me just clarify that statement. Yeah, I went through a lot of girlfriends. Yeah, I sometimes fooled around with them. Yeah, sometimes I was the one calling things off later on. But one thing I don't want people misunderstanding is that I was never cruel. I didn't do the whole cheating thing – sure, I looked at and flirted with other girls, but that's just part of what makes me, well, me – and I didn't just love 'em and leave 'em. Sure, I had plenty of flings and one-nighters, but when I say "girlfriend" I mean, well, something a little more committed than just some one-night stand. None of my ex's would have anything bad to say about me or the way things ended between us. Just so it's clear, because I've been misunderstood like that before. Why do you think Alenia really hated me so much? That whole Barows mouthpiece comment was baloney. She and I, back when we were still trainees, we had a thing. That was one of the ones I broke off, and the fact was, it irritated her that she couldn't find anything to be mad at me about. So she used that as an excuse to be permanently irritated at me.

That's what SHE thought, anyway.

She who?

Lyon, are you reading this? Miakis? Detective Oboro and Fuyo are definitely reading it, so I guess by default that means Shigure and Sagiri and Raven are around too. Oh, and Nakula. Hey Nakula! You're not really as stealthy as you think there, big guy. Stop trying to sneak around behind Sagiri, she knows you're there.

So all of the people I just mentioned – yes, even Nakula – are probably intrigued. Is it obvious that I switched from talking about Alenia to someone else? I hope so. That's what I was going for, anyway. Then again, Tailor's the writer, so maybe I transitioned into that wrong. Whatever, I don't really care. The point remains, you're all probably wondering who it is I'm talking about, if not Alenia.

You know, though, don't you Prince?

I know you suspected something before. Maybe not too long before, but definitely by the time the water drained out of the first basement level of New Dawn Castle. You probably had an inkling before then, some nagging little feeling, right? You were always perceptive like that. You probably couldn't put your finger on it, even when you got suspicious, though. We were good like that. But then I had to go and give it away the night before the Sol-Falena siege. Did you tell Lyon about that? About what I said that night, I mean. When I said that I didn't need to go through her stuff, because I'd already seen it. Lyon probably thought I meant that I'd raided her room after she left. I can't blame her, that's the image I've always projected. I'm not really that much of a perv, though. I'm a playboy, yes, but a creepy, panty-obsessed perv? No thanks, I'll pass on that one.

Right about now, the color probably drained right out of her face. She finally put two and two together and got four. So I guess there's no point dragging it out anymore, huh? Hey Miakis, Oboro, Fuyo, Shigure, Sagiri, Raven, Nakula, you guys all listening?

I was sleeping with Sialeeds.

You can give 'em a minute before reading the rest of this letter, Prince. I'm sure at least a few of 'em are shocked, although I'd bet every potch I've ever earned that Oboro knew about it weeks ago. Maybe even longer than that, who knows?

I know you knew it that last night, Prince. When I looked at you after I dropped that subtle-as-an-anvil hint, I could tell in your eyes that you knew exactly what I meant. You didn't question it, though. You never once questioned why your aunt, a member of the royal family in good standing, would have stooped so low as to sleep with the notoriously womanizing Queen's Knight Kyle.

Now, here's where I'd usually cue up the same old jokes about boyish good looks, rogue-ish charm, and my body that makes women-uh, on second thought, even I'm not quite crude enough to finish that sentence. You get the point, though. Same old routine, deflect deflect deflect, and quite frankly in a farewell letter I really don't want to be doing that anymore. So this is me, one hundred percent Kyle, without the playboy routine that was only partially true.

Why was I sleeping with your aunt?

It started just after her thing with Gizel ended. She likes to play it off like it didn't matter, but I think she really did care for the guy. Back then I figured I could see why, but knowing what I know now… Well, I'll get to that later. The point is that it started just after that. She wasn't even admitting to herself that it was hurting her more than she let on. She couldn't, I think. Now, your aunt always liked to drink, but that's when her fondness became, well, I guess these days you could really classify it as a "problem". Arshtat and Ferid and the other Knights wanted to keep it from you at the time. Lym was still too young to even understand that, but you… So everyone just sort of downplayed it. You were too young to deal with your aunt becoming an alcoholic.

The thing is, she was a restless drunk. Always roaming about the palace, sometimes she even went out into the town. I don't know if you remember this, Prince, but before Georg came I was her bodyguard. Back then she didn't have too many dangerous missions to go on, so a rookie like me was still qualified enough to be her bodyguard. Maybe that's why it happened. Maybe she got so used to me being around…

See, Prince, before I go any further I need to confess something. When you're an orphan, you're usually going to develop some kind of abandonment issues. There are exceptions, sure, but I wasn't one of them. If it had been a simple case of Sialeeds stumbling into my room drunk, nothing would've come of it, but…that's not what happened. What happened was one night, she was actually not carousing through town, and so I was able to get some sleep. I'm not sure exactly what time it was, I want to say late because it felt like I'd been asleep for at least a few hours, when my creaky door woke me up. It was Sialeeds, and by the time I could shake enough of the grogginess out of my head to think straight, she'd already closed the door and pretty much pounced on my bed.

Miakis, pick your jaw up off the floor. Lyon, that shade of red I know you're turning right about now isn't healthy for anyone.

Now, I assumed she was drunk. I mean, hey, I knew I was cool, but a royal lady being interested in me at all, let alone being this forward about it? Pfft, only in my dreams, man. Plus, I hope you don't get grossed out when I say this Prince, but saying your aunt was kind of a hottie would be an understatement. She could've had her pick of pretty much any guy in the country, and hell, probably more than a few nobles and royals outside of it. So the idea of her being in her right mind and doing this, well, it didn't even occur to me.

By this point, she'd straddled me – Lyon, what'd I say about that shade of red? – and I was ready to gently nudge her off and then start praying that nobody ever found out about this. I swear I was. Think whatever you want about me, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew what would happen if this got found out, if somebody heard. Plus, no matter what anyone thinks of me, I wouldn't ever take advantage of a woman when she was drunk or hurting. So I was all set to stop this whole fiasco from going down.

Until she held up that bottle of wine I'd watched her get hours earlier.

That _unopened_ bottle of wine.

She _was_ in her right mind. She'd decided to do this without one tiny drop of alcohol clouding her judgment. She'd _chosen_ me.

Putting another set of two and two together? Well, Shigure, since I know you and Raven suck at math, I'll help you. Take one drop dead gorgeous royal throwing herself at you without a hint of alcohol in her system, add one playboy knight with hidden "love me" issues, and what do you get?

Mmhmm.

I can't remember much about that first night. It was good. It was _damn good_. It was hot and sweaty and steamy and pure fire and I knew I was going to get burned but I didn't care. Your aunt was a warrior woman in every sense of the word and even as much of a warrior as I am, all I could do was hold on for dear life and pray that it never stopped.

But it did. The first little rays of sunlight woke me up, and I was just in time to see my door closing. Intellectually, I knew from the moment I allowed it to happen that she wouldn't be able to stick around. I knew it would've meant my exile if I was lucky, or my head if I wasn't. But on a deeper level…

On a deeper level I got burned, just like I knew I would.

What I was never expecting was for her to come back the next night and heal that burn right back up. That she would kiss me and make that burn go away. And she still wasn't drunk. She never was with me. I couldn't understand what that meant until it was too late, but…

It was supposed to be a short-lived thing. I knew I was the rebound guy even without her saying anything, and she told me as much more than once. But she just kept coming back, and I just kept letting her in. It was…it was good. The burning got less and less painful, until finally it just stopped happening. I knew she'd be back the next night she could. It was just an unspoken thing.

A year or two went by. By now you knew that your aunt drank a lot of alcohol, and you were handling it a lot better than expected. I think a lot of that had to do with your friends. Lyon and Miakis kept you pretty busy and distracted. They knew it too, and they knew you had – have, I guess I should say – this tendency to overthink things and end up feeling down about them. So Miakis didn't give you time to overthink, and on those rare occasions you did, Lyon was there to keep you from drowning in all the stuff you had to deal with. I was proud of the way you guys all handled things. Just because you were royals and royal bodyguards didn't mean life was easy, but you really handled things like pros.

Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. Back to the topic at hand, now that I've effectively gotten even Miakis blushing. (As an aside, Prince: SCORE!)

Thing was, by this point, there were rumors going around about your aunt. Lots of them came in from town, about her jaunts and carousing and stuff. I know you heard them. You probably believed them. Don't worry, Prince, she didn't blame you and neither did I. She didn't exactly live a saintly lifestyle. She knew that and accepted it. It probably wasn't always easy on you to see your aunt like that, but… Well, past is past, I guess. But anyway, about those rumors? They were started by drunks that hung out in a bar Sialeeds liked. They'd tried all kinds of ways to get her to pay attention to them, and it never worked. So they started the rumors to be cruel. I think on some level, Sialeeds thought she deserved it, so she just let them spread their bullshit. Me? Well, I had a different philosophy.

I wanted to beat the living hell out of the bastards. I wanted to smash their faces in with my bare hands. I didn't care that it would cost me my position, I didn't care that I would probably be exiled, all I cared about was the tiny little pinpricks of hurt I would see in her eyes anytime she'd catch someone giving her a dirty look or whispering behind her back.

That's when I realized I was in love with Sialeeds.

Surprised to hear me say that? Yeah, I was surprised to think it. Still am a little bit, but…I guess I've come to accept it. I love her. Sounds strange, but it's the truth. I never said anything, though. Not to her, not to anyone. I knew what would happen. Sialeeds was still scared of the "L" word, afraid that once it was said something or someone was going to swoop in and take it away before she could enjoy it. That's what happened with Gizel, after all. So I just kept my mouth shut. I thought that would be enough to keep everything calm and kosher, but I guess it wasn't. Don't ask me how, but of all the people that could've found out, it was Ferid that figured it out. Oh, he never came out and said as much, but there was one time…

Thugs had been attempting to form organized crime in Sol-Falena. We knew where they were all hiding out and it was our job to go in there and uproot them before they could actually form any real organizations. Ferid gave us our briefing like usual, and then he looked at all of us, but ended up staring right at me. He said, "Be careful, everyone." Then he walked right past me, and in this really soft whisper, added, "And not just in battle." And that was the only time anyone ever made mention of it.

So…does that pretty much cover it, Prince? You know the truth now. You've still got a few lingering questions, I'm sure. Did Sialeeds love me? Well, even I'm not boastful enough to say yes, but I'd like to think so. Do I still love her? Absolutely. Nakula, Miakis, and Lyon are probably wondering how I can say that after she betrayed us. Well, that's the thing. I can't say for certain whether she _did_ betray us. Everyone made a big deal about her being responsible for Lyon's injury, but really, it was that Nether Gate creep Dolph that stabbed her. If Sialeeds hadn't done what she did afterwards, things might have even been worse. Plus, because of her hasty retreat, Galleon was forced to come to our castle, where we were able to convince him to change sides. We gained a powerful soldier with inside information about how the Godwin regime worked. Can't deny the value of that asset, can you? Not to mention the fact that with Galleon's experience, he could train all the rookies and whip 'em into even better fighters than they were already turning out to be. Much as part of me felt betrayed, there's a bigger part of me that knows she had her reasons - _good_ ones – for doing what she did.

So why the farewell letter? Well…look, I can't say a whole lot, Prince. All I can really do is, well, ask you to do me a favor. Take everybody in that room with you now and go pay your respects to Lady Sialeeds' grave. I think it'll be pretty informative.

Commander of the Queen's Knights Faroush Falenas stood at the grave where they'd buried his aunt, Kyle's farewell letter still clutched in his hand. Sialeeds had been buried outside the city, befitting a traitor. It had killed him to do it, but there was no other choice. He couldn't have put her with the royal family, not when the public at large considered her one step below Marscal and Gizel Godwin. At least here, she was allowed to rest in peace, away from gawkers and vandals that would try to deface her resting place.

It was a modest crypt, built specifically for this purpose. It looked more like a cottage than anything, albeit a morbid cottage with a plain design. Faroush didn't hesitate as he stepped through the doorway into the lone room, eyes falling on the tomb of his beloved aunt. The others hesitantly followed in behind him. Kyle's letter had reeled even Nakula, usually indifferent to everything, in. For his part, Faroush had what Kyle would call an inkling of what the letter was getting at, but he had to be sure.

He turned to survey his companions. Queen's Knights Lyon and Miakis stood nervous and uncertain, both of them quite a bit uneasy about being here. Detective Oboro appeared stoic, and Fuyo was unusually subdued. Shigure, for once, wasn't complaining and Sagiri…well, Sagiri still smiled, but her eyes shone with sympathy. Raven, newest employee of Detective Oboro, was fidgeting a little, eager to see where this mystery would end. Nakula, though his very presence here gave away his interest, attempted to appear as indifferent as always.

Solemnly, Faroush delivered pointed looks to Oboro, Shigure, Raven, and Nakula. All of them had the same inkling. No doubt Fuyo and Sagiri did as well, but he would need those two to hold back Lyon and Miakis. The others all nodded, some with degrees of hesitance, but when Faroush stepped up closer to the tomb, brushed his hands against themselves several times, and placed them on the edge of the lid, the other four followed suit. Miakis and Lyon both gasped and started forward, but Sagiri and Fuyo both held them back.

With the sound of stone groaning against stone, muscles straining as hard as they could, the five men managed to successfully shove the lid off the tomb. It came to rest at an angle, so it could be put back on if they chose, and within that tomb was exactly what Faroush had suspected there to be.

Nothing.

Faroush held his hand over the opening at the top of the tomb and let the letter drop, watching the piece of paper slowly waft back and forth on the slight wind until it came to rest inside the stone tomb. "Farewell, Kyle."


End file.
